Choosing You—Even When It Doesn’t Make Sense to Anyone Else

For those who’ve spent years being everything for everyone but themselves.

There’s something wild and brave about making a choice that feels right for you…
and watching people’s faces twist in confusion because they don’t get it.

You’d think choosing your own well-being wouldn’t be so controversial.
But the moment you step outside what’s expected—what’s considered normal, polite, or right—the assumptions come pouring in:

“Why would they do that?”
“What are they trying to prove?”
“Something must be wrong.”

No.
Nothing is wrong.
It’s just… I finally decided to choose myself.

And let me be honest:
It wasn’t easy.

Sometimes doing what’s right for you feels wrong, simply because you’re not used to it.
You’ve spent years being the reliable one.
The calm one.
The strong one.
The one who shows up—even when you're unraveling inside.

You’ve been the shock absorber for other people’s expectations, emotions, and chaos.
And let’s be real: that role wears you down.

When you say yes out of habit, fear, or pressure—it’s not kindness.
It’s erasure.
And you deserve more than to be erased in your own story.

So this year, I began asking myself:

What if I just… stopped doing what people expected, and started doing what felt right for me?

It didn’t come naturally.
It started in small, brave moments:
Turning down an invitation.
Declining a project.
Walking away from a conversation that left me depleted.

And the guilt came too.
Because choosing yourself is a practice—not a personality.

I had to talk myself through it. Remind myself:

Just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Just because they don’t understand doesn’t mean I owe them an explanation.
Just because it’s easier to say yes doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

And yes—some people were surprised.
Some judged.
Some speculated.

But you know what else happened?

I felt whole.
I felt honest.
I felt like I was finally living for me.

This isn’t about abandoning others.
It’s about no longer abandoning yourself.

So whether you’re deciding to take a break, set a boundary, leave a job, say no to an obligation, or say yes to something that lights you up—do it with intention.

You don’t have to explain your peace.
You don’t have to defend your joy.
You just have to choose it.

🌺 This is your permission slip to live on purpose—for you.
Not the version people want you to be.
But the version that makes you feel free.

With compassion,
Elizabeth Iember

✨ Reflective Prompts for the Soul:

1. What decision have I been delaying because I’m afraid of what others might think?

2. Where in my life am I saying yes to avoid discomfort but sacrificing my peace?

3. What would living for me—fully and unapologetically—actually look like?